Sometimes, It IS Black Or White
My daughter and I have birthdays in March. This year is a big one for us both. I was thinking as part of her surprise I would have her favorite cake shipped from New York to Boston for the gathering. Last I attempted to do this, I was met with a lot of resistance so I could hear the voices (perspectives) already cuing up.
They don’t ship anymore, it compromises the quality of the cake, and this particular bakery takes great pride in their representation.
Gumdrops, this is going to be a waste of time, just find or try to make a cake closest to the one she likes.
You know, I am feeling pretty lucky today, I am going to make this happen.
These voices/parts of us/perspectives happen in mere moments, seconds. If we are fortunate to be mindful (another reason to have a practice) we can catch ourselves and choose an alternate more resourceful perspective.
I started by calling the bakery, explaining what I was looking to do. I was met by a kind gentleman that really wanted to help me but explained they don’t ship anymore, it compromises the cake, blabblahblahblah.
Dang it, I knew this was going to difficult, nothing is easy anymore. With covid and all those additional issues, staffing, logistics, etc.
Then he said, you know, let me give you the number to the kitchen. The manager and assistant manager are in today, perhaps they may be able to do something for you.
So onward I went, call number two. To my good fortunate again, a sign, the general manager answered the phone. I greeted her with my most enthusiastic warm voice and explained what it was I was looking to do. She put me on hold. Came back on the line to clarify which cake it was I was interested in. The chocolate cake with buttercream frosting. “Oh, the Black and White Cake, one minute please" and I was back on hold glancing down my list of to-dos to start on the next one.
Wow this was easy, I knew I could do this, can check this one off the list.
Back on the line I was met with a disappointing no. “I’d really love to help you with this, we would have to freeze the cake, and that compromises its integrity'. That’s ok I really don’t mind taking the chance. "We don’t have the set up to do shipping really. We don’t have the boxes". Ok, that’s ok, thank you very much for your consideration and trying.
Don’t have the boxes, ok Vik, think out of the box, out of the box. Who has boxes? (Lightbulb shows up above head) Call a shipping company, that's also a delivery service and you can make this happen.
To make a long story short. I did it! I found a company that will pick up the cake and box it up and ship the cake to me. My enthusiasm may have been a tad over the top because the delivery/shipping company ordered two of the cake for themselves as well.
With that said do I know what it will look like upon arrival? Who cares, its family, it will taste the same if it is presented with its buttercream frosting and ganache polka dots, or smushed.
Perspectives are a blessing and a curse. Here’s the thing, we get to choose.
The blessing, we get to choose which perspective best serves us in moving our plan forward. The curse, we are choosing, if you are stuck in a perspective that is less resourceful, such as, this will never happen, nothing I want ever comes to fruition, I’m too old, this is too hard, I’m going to fail… You my friend are choosing that perspective.
There is tremendous power in choice!
How do you shift perspectives? Glad you asked! Identify your current perspective. Is it serving you in moving your goal forward, what you want to do, or who you want to be? Brainstorm other perspectives. Make them up. Ask your coach, or a friend. If your thing is, this is too hard, try on what if this was wicked easy! Try it on, don it on like an outfit, does it work, does it fit, try it on for size.
The perspective we are in has huge impact on the outcome of our goal, or our interaction. Come up with a couple perspectives and try them on. Pick the one that serves the situation and you best. Giving you the best shot for success.
Develop a plan from that perspective, and name what you are saying yes and no to. Not sure what I am talking about, call me for a free sample and I will demonstrate, bring a problem in with you, a place where you are stuck. It will be so fun!!! I promise.
Commit to your plan and if needed put a structure in place. Something to remind you what you committed to in case you forget, and you might, just like me.
Some put a penny in their shoe before a speech to remind themselves that they want to be in their most resourceful, relaxed part of themselves when they go on. Some maybe wear a watch on their opposite hand, some may put a post-it note near their toothbrush or a place to remind them. Kind of like cuing yourself by putting something by the door so you don’t forget to take it with you.
It's important to get clear, what’s the topic. I want Black and White chocolate cake for my daughter's birthday. I want to start that company I have been talking about. I want to stand in full agency around a person who triggers me. I’m going to keep my heart open during a difficult conversation. I’m going to stand in my most resourceful part of myself as I ask for that raise, I deserve. I'm going to bring the most relaxed connected part of me to that interview or that new leadership position.
Explore and embody the perspective, your choices, careful, we have a tendency to slip back into one that is familiar. I can note when you do that and shore you up to own the perspective you are choosing and show you how I do that.
Explore possible being and doing actions from that perspective. Hone the list, plan, set the deadline and put them into action. Create a structure if you need to keep the perspective alive within you.
Step into action, otherwise it's just a great idea.
Use the SMART goal setting structure or one similar and tell two people. If goals are kept a secret, they are usually not accomplished.