Trash Talking

It can be difficult when we’re trying something new. Change can be uncomfortable, even a little downright scary at times.

“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.”  - Rumi

Aside from being a ball addict, my puppy loves to move, loves to visit the dog park, hike the bog and walk the neighborhood. Excited by the prospect of uncovering smells, his form of the New Yorker, he knows the whole neighborhood. Sniffs out whose been out and about already, Olive, Faith and Gracie. Oh yippee, the bus stop, a plethora of visitors. He is such a happy dog by nature, so present, so social, he bounces along with a skip in his step, not a care in the world.   

Until…..

Ears flatten, he begins cowering, tail tucks under tight between his fluffy hind legs, avoids eye contact with me, he is focused on the upcoming threat, a threat in his way, a threat that blocks his progress, his evening joy, even a few sharp barks of warning, then both paws stretch out, the HARD STOP.

Motown, my Wheaton Terrier puppy, gets frightened when there is something new on the horizon.

I’m too am looking, I heard the coyotes the other night, does he see something I cannot. He begins by swinging a sharp left making a wide margin, like a pencil in a drafting compass, to avoid the threat.

“What is it Momo?”

 And then it comes into view. The neighbors recycling bin.

Puppies, like people like routine, like things that are familiar. The status quo. When there’s a change it takes him off guard, he gets frightened and can react become on guard or protective, withdraw, appear angry even. 

People too like the familiar, the status quo. There is a safety in the familiar. Even when it no longer serves us. There’s comfort in knowing what we know, certainty, right? Even our bodies relax with routine, with repetitive movement, like rocking a baby to soothe, your evening bedtime routine, your kids routines or working out or yoga. The things we know we can count on. 

then BOOM…..the recycling bin….BOOM a pandemic….

What’s your way, your habit or pattern of how you deal with the unknown? What offers you support you as you deal with uncertainty, change?

I begin talking soothingly to Momo. “Hey buddy, it’s ok”, I scooch down at eye level and pat him up a bit, “it’s ok, I’m here bud.” I consider the options.

Slowly we continue, taking small steps, letting him adjust, small steps matter big when approaching change. We are starting to get much closer to the bin, the large ominous dangerous object. I offer up a treat to reward his courage, he swings in tight to me, his tail no longer tucked, he looks up at me for reassurance. “You are doing great Momo, come on”.  Encouraging him forward. We arrive at the bin.

I touch the bin and again encourage him. “It’s ok bud, you’re good, aren’t you a brave one.” Championing him, he gets closer still, sniffs, licks and steps back, sniffs again, loosen his shoulders, softens his eyes, a smidge of his wiggliness reappears as he relaxes. Onward we continue our enjoying evening walk. 

Until we come upon the next recycling bin. This time it’s easier. He knows a little more, he’s now had some experience, he trusts a little more, needs less coaching or cuing. Before you know it, the bins are no biggie for him. 

How do you approach what’s new? How do you navigate a change, something unfamiliar, perhaps a new way of doing something, or doing yourself. How about the prospect of a job change, or a lifestyle change, the way you communicate with others, or even you communicate within yourself. What’s scary for you?

Who or what structures, strategies, or patterns, do you lean into during change? Which are helpful, and which are sabotaging? How balanced or out of balance do you experience yourself these days? The past few years have certainly brought about many new ways of doing things or ways of being with oneself,  with others, with the world. A global wake-up call. Maybe you’ve already experienced a personal or medical wake-up call.  An opportunity to consider are you living life in a way that honors what is most important to you? Does relationship with family, friends, the outdoors, or experiences hold strong value for you, nourish you? Yet is your time and focus elsewhere which limits your ability to investing in, or cultivating those things that really matter.

How might coaching help support your navigating what is unfamiliar? How might championing, accountability, assist you in moving forward towards what you really want. If you lived what really mattered to you, what would that look like, feel like, smell like? How would that change your life? How important is this to you, and how committed are you? What would up that commitment? How much time do you want to keep living what isn’t true for you.

Motown overcame his fear partly because he really loves to walk, one might say he has a strong value for being outside, wind in his hair, skip in his step, strutting the neighborhood. He loves greeting all available to him, approaching all, being social is a core value of his. Engaging his furry buds and human friends brings him great joy. Living these things makes him happy. When we live our values we are happy, content, we are experiencing fulfillment. 

What’s important about that, and why is it important to know?

Sometimes we have to ask the question a few times to get at the why.  The WHY helps us get at the motivation, the underbelly of what we really want. Many have heard my reason for returning to running and how it relates to my connection with my son, if you haven’t, ask me. 

I can support you as you clarify your core values, the meat of what matters most to you, your souls duct tape. What’s important about that? Because when we live our values, it gives us peace, happiness, we feel “right” within ourselves, and don’t we all want that? 

Feeling miserable?  I can assure you that you are not honoring a value(s) that are important to you. You are out of integrity with who you really are, or how you want to be living. I can teach you the tools, keys, to unlock what is really true for you. Transparently, I can show you how to integrate those parts of yourself that get in your way of moving forward, and support you into choosing and stepping into your most resourceful self. We’ll look at what keeps getting in your way and how to navigate those obstacles in a more effective way offering you more choice, more freedom. 

Getting at the underbelly, knowing what your WHY is, draws you forward, sometimes effortlessly.

So, Motown and I made our way through the neighborhood that night, now passing all the trash and recycling bins, skip back in his step, occasionally glancing up. “Hey there bud.” …yup the pup is doing just fine.

As we neared our driveway, a neighbor had thrown out a rug while we were down the street, it was all folded up on its self. 

Two furry feet out, ears flatten, FULL STOP, and so the process goes, such is life as we go along. 

Change is the constant. Imagine what it would feel like to know you have strategies now put in place, to navigate yourself, your clients, your loved ones through change.  

I’d love the opportunity to support your stepping into who you are becoming, in supporting your new career move, project, that thing you keep talking about, thinking about but not moving forward on.